How to Write the Introduction and Conclusion of a Common Application Essay / Stanford Examples Sarah O’Neill Chester County
Sarah O’Neill Coatesville, Chester County, PA Supreme Editing
INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION STRATEGIES
Your opening paragraph is as important, if not more important, in your college essay as it is in your essays for English class. You need to hook your reader with realistic but interesting word choice, voice, and fluency. Think outside of the standard attention-getting devices.
-Tell an anecdotal story
-Present an extended metaphor
-A zinger (wordplay, humor, or a creative twist)
-A shocking or blunt statement
-A mini-mystery
What is an ANECDOTE?
An anecdote is an example of a point you want to make that uses a little (brief) story or animated description.
Anecdotes create pictures — or a small snippet of video — using words. The writer wants you to see their point for yourself, rather than explain it to you.
Your essay should begin with a narrative (story-telling) tone, then move into a more expository (explaining) tone.
Think of it as a “Show and Tell” structure.
EXAMPLE
I had been talking for nearly an hour straight. My five writing students, all seated around a large table in front of me, were starting to fidget. Suddenly, I heard a soft thump and a commotion behind me. The students also jumped up in unison.
“What the heck?” I said as I craned my neck behind me.
Everyone started laughing. The 16-year-old black cat, Ace, had fallen asleep on the bookshelf behind us and gradually slipped over the edge until he abruptly dropped to the floor. As the students laughed, we all watched Ace shake his head a couple times, stunned from the impact, trying to brush off the rude awakening. Then he padded into the next room as though nothing had happened.
I couldn’t help but think later how it took a sleeping cat to wake everyone up.
Writing an Anecdote
To write a strong anecdote, you need to:
1. Know what you are trying to show or illustrate (by example) with your anecdote.
2. Include some type of adversity, problem, conflict, obstacle
3. Start at the peak of the action in the moment.
4. Make sure something happens. It might take no longer than a few minutes.
5. Include details to create a visual image. Set the scene with the 5Ws (who, what, when , where and why.)
6. Keep it short. Start long, then cut it down to the fewest words necessary.
7. Save the background for the next paragraph or later
8. Don’t explain too much; save that for later.
9. Use more verbs and nouns than adjectives and adverbs.
10. Stick with shorter sentences. Include a snippet of dialogue.
EXTENDED METAPHOR
An extended metaphor compares two things that are not alike in a drawn-out way.
Real Examples From Stanford
•Unlike many mathematicians, I live in an irrational world; I feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants.
•The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions.
•Cancer tried to defeat me, and it failed.
•I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks.
•As an Indian-American, I am forever bound to the hyphen.
INEFFECTIVE INTRODUCTIONS
•The placeholder introduction
Failure is common in everyone’s life. There are many different reasons that people fail. Some people come back stronger from failure, but some don’t.
•The Webster’s Dictionary introduction.
Webster’s dictionary defines failure as ….
•The “dawn of man” introduction.
Since the dawn of man, failure has been a problem in human history.
•The book report introduction.
A Quinceañera is the celebration of a girl’s fifteenth birthday in parts of Latin America and elsewhere in communities of people from Latin America. It is celebrated because it marks the transition from being a child to being a young woman. The exact celebration varies across countries, with some being more religious than others.
Concluding the Essay
DON’T:
•just summarize the rest of the essay!
•Use a cliché
•NEVER EVER EVER write “in conclusion…” EVER. DON’T DO IT.
DO:
•Bring the reader full circle. Echo — don’t repeat — your intro.
•Leave the reader with something to think about
•Create a positive and upbeat tone
•Connect the content of your essay with your desire for a college education
Link your experience to a wider context
Remember To:
•Meet the word count requirement — 500–650 words
•Copy/Paste the prompt at the top of the page
•Craft an impactful introduction and a thought-provoking conclusion. Introduction Strategies:
-Tell an anecdotal story (This is the preferred technique)
-Present an extended metaphor
-wordplay, humor, or a creative twist
-A shocking or blunt statement
-A mini-mystery
-Straightforward statement/ thesis (This should be your last resort)
•Provide sufficient details to exemplify or support your ideas
•Vary sentence beginning and lengths
Sarah O'Neill Chester County PA Supreme Editing
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