HOW TO: Yale Supplement (REAL) Essay Examples and Tips Sarah O'Neill Coatesville Supreme Editing

 Sarah O'Neill Coatesville Supreme Editing

---

Students at Yale have plenty of time to explore their academic interests before committing to one or more major fields of study. Many students either modify their original academic direction or change their minds entirely. As of this moment, what academic areas seem to fit your interests or goals most comfortably? Please indicate up to three from the list provided.

Question 1: Why do these areas appeal to you? (125 words or fewer)

Example 1:

By the fifth buzz, I started pawing at my nightstand half-asleep, wondering who was texting me at 7am on a Saturday. My newspaper editor had heard about yet another protest occurring right outside our school. I dashed out of bed and rummaged through my closet for my Nikon so I could meet her at the scene. As I gathered my belongings, questions raced through my head. Who was there? What were they protesting? Why?

At Yale, I’ll continue asking important questions like these. By understanding the historical and political contexts that give rise to these events, I'll be able to tell better stories.

Example 2:

Tearing past layers of wrapping paper, I blink twice at the box in my hands: The Squishy Human Body. Little did I know that this strange seventh birthday gift would inspire a curiosity in biology and a desire to pursue medicine. Snapping open the plastic head, I would seek to understand the brain’s inner workings. Squeezing the rubber heart would turn into countless questions about the molecular properties of its tissues. Using the tweezers to remove the small intestine, I would perform my own surgeries, each time with improved equipment that I designed to fit the patient’s needs. I hope to continue my exploration of biology at Yale, working to understand functions on a cellular level while applying my knowledge to the field of medicine.

What’s great about these answers?

• Passion and intellectual curiosity. They are both clearly committed to their craft. They also seek to develop an understanding of the larger societal forces that shape small communities.
• Specificity. In both essays, descriptive and relatable language is used that keep the reader engaged and eager to know what happens next.
• In both essays, the students mention Yale and how they plan to explore their passion there. 
• Be honest!  Choosing anything other than your true interests would be a misrepresentation of who you are and a disservice to you and the admissions office.  
• Try to tell a story with your choices.  How can you use this to reveal something about what you value and what excites you intellectually?  You goal is to tell a cohesive story about your intellectual curiosity.  Ideally, you should try to recount an anecdote that illustrates your engagement with your chosen field or demonstrates your ability to link seemingly disparate fields.

Question 2: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Example 1:

As I strolled down Old Campus Courtyard with my father, I noticed a young woman hard at work on an oil painting beneath the trees. Students walked by oohing and ahhing in appreciation of the lifelike scene on the canvas. Looking back on the numerous art shows I’d attended in NYC, I struggled to recall a time when I’d seen art met with such rapture. I want to be a part of Yale’s thriving artist community, where I can feel at home discussing the merits of serif vs. sans-serif, writing a paper on the genius of Jeff Koons, or perfecting my own lighting sculptures.

Example: 2

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.” 

 

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog. 

 

What’s memorable about these answers?

• Demonstrated interest. They let admissions officers know that they visited the campus, without saying so explicitly.
• Continuity. Their passion for the arts is clear in an academic light, but the reader gets the sense that their passions bleed into other areas of their life.
• When answering the “Why us?” question, the biggest mistake students make is rattling off a list of classes, which can be easily discovered online. The reasons for their interest in Yale should go beyond online research and make it clear that they’re not just another applicant tossing their name in the hat.
• Yale wants to make sure you are psyched for the full college experience at their school.  DO YOUR RESEARCH!  Yale attracts applicants based on reputation alone, so it won’t do any good to go on and on about the world-class education you will receive. Locate SPECIFIC opportunities within your department and related programs and centers.
• Under no circumstance should you mention anything vague that could apply to other schools.
• All this is proof, by the way, that it’s a great idea to consider a campus tour for at least your child’s top choice schools.

 

Quick responses in 35 words or fewer:

Question 3: What inspires you?

Example 1: 

My grandmother raised me in Seoul before I emigrated to the U.S. to meet my parents. She taught me how to read and cook. Talking to her reminds me whose shoulders I stand on.

Tips:

·      You don’t have time to describe what the word inspire means to you in 35 words or less. 

·      Have fun with this prompt!  Get specific and think about what experiences have launched some of your best ideas?

Question 4: Yale’s residential colleges regularly host conversations with guests representing a wide range of experiences and accomplishments. What person, past or present, would you invite to speak? What would you ask them to discuss?

Example 1:

Believe it or not, I want to hear from Kanye West. I’d ask him what makes him want to live his life so out there and in public all the time.

Tips:

·      Your question is more important than your guest.  At the core, this prompt is more about your curiosity.  Think about what you are curious about.  What do you find most puzzling about your chosen field of study? About the last thing you read?

·      Once you’ve honed in on your area of curiosity, think about who might be a good person to ask.

Question 5: You are teaching a Yale course. What is it called?

Example 1:

The Big Business of Mad Money. A history of the major musical artists of the 20th century, with a look into what made their music and their empires successful.

Tips:

·      What are you good at?  Reach beyond the traditional academic areas towards skills you may have cultivated on your own time.  Then think about how you might teach an academic course on this skill.

Question 6: Yale students embrace the concept of “and” rather than “or,” pursuing arts and sciences, tradition and innovation, defined goals and surprising detours. What is an example of an “and” that you embrace?

Example 1:

Most people think of me as a journalist, scurrying behind the scenes. Fewer know about an equally important passion: stand-up. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved to make a room laugh.

Tips:

·      Yale wants to see how you can hold and honor two different ideals, categories, or feelings at the same time.  Think about what is important to you or perhaps what is at odds in your mind.

·      If you’re feeling stuck on this question, try writing a list of things that are important to you, characteristics you value or words you’d use to describe yourself.  Can you put any of them together?

What’s great about all these quick responses?

• Personality. 35 words isn’t good for much except showing off a bit of personality, humor, and color! This isn’t a place for your child to go staid. Encourage them to be playful.
• Unpretentiousness. Relatedly, these answers convey intelligence and curiosity without seeming too self-serious.

 

Supplemental Essays:

Question 7: Yale’s extensive course offerings and vibrant conversations beyond the classroom encourage students to follow their developing intellectual interests wherever they lead. Tell us about your engagement with a topic or idea that excites you. Why are you drawn to it? (250 words for all applicants)

Example 1: Jason

“The A.I. Winter.” The first time I heard that phrase, I got shivers. It sounded like a phrase right out of a doomsday science fiction novel. And I learned that it was just about that. A PhD student in the neuroscience lab I worked in explained to me that there was a period when society lost interest in artificial intelligence. Scientists stopped imagining robots walking around, talking, looking like us, and helping us make society better. 

And yet today, we live our lives around robots all the time. We keep artificial intelligence in our pockets and I’m writing this essay thanks to many versions of A.I. My neighbor lost a limb in a car accident and can walk because of a computerized leg. My father can’t wait for a driverless car to replace our commute. What happened between that A.I. winter and the technology boom today?

I’m interested in how society relates to these technologies. What made it possible for us to obsess over A.I. in the 70s, then “forget” about it for a while, and now return to it with new ideas and philosophies driving us? I hope I can use college to study Cognitive Science or even the History of Science and Medicine in order to better understand our brains and the machines that might increasingly resemble them.

Example 2:

My heel strikes the pavement, calf muscles flexed to brace for the mechanical load of the impact. As my weight shifts forward, I imagine horizontal velocity vectors extending directly ahead. The angle created by my knee increases as I hit the propulsion phase of my stride, and with a final drive of force, I push off from my forefoot.

 

I discovered my fascination with sports biomechanics in the USC Biomechanics Research Lab. In my research project, I apply scientific principles to running to prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes. By analyzing video frames of PAC-12 athletes in motion and linking them to force plate data, I seek to understand the forces behind running. Comparing these conclusions to the data of athletes after a stress fracture, I can deduce the tangible differences that increase susceptibility to injury. To accomplish this goal, I have learned to use Python and MATLAB to sync the video and force plate data to create graphs for analysis. I have also used sports analysis programs to identify the locations of joints in individual frames and create videos overlaid by force vectors. Through this work, I hope to use my passion for sports biomechanics to improve the health of athletes.

 

My interest in sports biomechanics also extends outside of the lab, where I see my knowledge in motion. Neighborhood runs are scientific feats where I analyze my movements with principles of physics. With every step, I seek to improve my performance, putting sports biomechanics into action as an athlete.

What’s great about these answers?

• Be specific!
• They illustrate the concept in several ways. For example, in Jason’s (example 1) the second paragraph shows that he’s thought about how technology manifests in today’s world and how it might manifest. He’s drawing intellectual connections, which is exactly what a liberal arts education requires. 
• They spin it forward. By mentioning what they might want to study, they carry through their interest to Yale.
• By this point the reader knows what you want to study and why, what inspires you, and the kind of course you’d teach.  It’s STILL your job to reveal something new about yourself.
• When have you felt excited and motivated to learn? When have your teachers or peers pushed you to understand the world beyond personal experience?

 

Question 8: Applicants should select ONE of the two prompts below and respond in 250 words or fewer.

Option A: Reflect on a community to which you feel connected. Why is it meaningful to you?  You may define community however you like.

Example 1: Priya

The first time my parents dropped me off at Hindu Heritage Summer Camp, I was furious. I didn’t want to spend my summer in Rochester, New York, with a bunch of other Indian kids. I wanted to go to theater camp. I wanted to play Anita in West Side Story. But by the end of the summer, I’d changed my mind.

Growing up with mostly white friends, I’d never been comfortable wearing a bindi or a salwar kameez. I quit my Kuchipudi classical dance classes when I was twelve and the teacher moved thirty minutes away. I replaced them with tap, jazz, and eventually some hip hop. But at HHSC, the days were filled with Indian things that, for the first time, didn’t make me feel strange. My grandparents had tried to teach me slokas and yoga when I was younger, and I’d always preferred to watch TV. But when I was surrounded by other desi kids my own age, I didn’t mind the prayers and pujas, and I actually loved yoga, the way it slowed down my constantly moving brain. 

HHSC isn’t a constant community because we always have to leave it. But I’ve gone back to be a counselor since, and I’m always in touch with some of my best friends from each summer. More than anything, HHSC taught me that the Hindu community in the U.S. is a home you can carry with you all year.

What’s great about Priya’s answer?

• There’s a sense of story. Though there aren’t any specific anecdotes, characters, scenes, or even images in Priya’s essay, there’s still a sense of story. Why? Because she talks about a change she underwent. 
• She reflects on the community personally. Many people will interpret this question as an opportunity to discuss their community service hours. That might be fine, if your child can really tell as personal of a story about their community service hours as Priya does about her summer camp. But this question is an invitation for the applicant to get intimate, not to talk about the soup kitchen that may or may not have personally affected them. 
• “A community to which you belong” could be anything: your family, a club, your hometown, etc.  Whatever community you choose, remember to situate your contribution within it.  When have you been a leader?  When were you able to affect change?
• Be as concrete as possible as you develop your story. 

Option B: Reflect on something that has given you great satisfaction. Why has it been important to you

Example 1: Jason

I started learning piano when I was seven, shortly after arriving in New Jersey from Seoul. When I first met my teacher, Mrs. Bruno, I was nervous and worried because I didn’t speak much English. “Hi Jason,” Mrs. Bruno said brightly and shook my hand. We sat down on the piano bench, and she played a scale, then motioned for me to imitate her. As my fingers hit the keys, I began to relax; I realized music was its own language.

I studied with Mrs. Bruno until I was fifteen. By then, I was beginning to enter the competition circuit. One day, Mrs. Bruno sat me down and said she felt she’d taken me as far as she could—if I wanted to keep improving, I needed another teacher. 

I was crushed. Mrs. Bruno was one of the first people I came to trust after emigration, and her guidance had helped me adapt to my new life. But the more she explained, the more I understood she was trying to help me.

Since changing teachers, I’ve greatly improved as a musician. Though I hope to become a scientist, having a creative outlet in my life helps me access another side of myself, one attuned to emotion and beauty.

But equally valuable is my relationship with Mrs. Bruno. I no longer see her weekly, but we do catch up over coffee every few months. I’m proud to say that, though she’s no longer my teacher, she is now my friend.

What makes Jason’s essay great?

• A sense of narrative that’s grounded in specific anecdotes. Jason does a great job of anchoring his relationship with Mrs. Bruno in memories like shaking her hand and relaxing as he played the piano for the first time. His journey towards becoming a serious musician also gives the essay forward momentum.
• Jason discusses what learning piano has meant to him from multiple angles. Not only does playing music provide a valuable counterpoint to his rational, scientific side, but it also helped him develop a highly meaningful friendship.
• Yale wants to know about something that makes you feel on top of the world!  THINK about what has brought you great joy over the past few years.
• What you choose to write about won’t determine the success of your response so much as your reflection on it. Can you point to a need filled within you or an experience you never would have had without it?  Show admissions you are self-aware.

 

Final Thoughts

As a large research institution with a liberal arts approach to education, it will offer your child myriad opportunities. Every applicant should focus on getting to know Yale—and every other school to which they’re applying—so they can write with passion and specificity about why they’re the perfect fit. 

 Sarah O'Neill Coatesville Supreme Editing