College Admissions Essays for Pitt

 University of Pittsburgh Excerpt

by Sarah O'Neill, Coatesville, Supreme Editing

According to the University of Pittsburgh admissions (via their website):

We look for a solid senior-year curriculum as part of our university admissions review, so, while applying for college you also should make sure to keep up the good work during your senior year of high school. Every university application receives a holistic review by taking traditional measures of academic achievement into account, while also looking for what makes you unique and a good fit to attend college at Pitt.  During this process, we’ll ask you to rank your campus preferences, so learn about all that each of our four regional campuses has to offer.


​​The Pitt community is rich in diversity, which is an essential component of its excellence. At Pitt, students are connected with new experiences, supportive mentors, and a vibrant community.


“We are focused on the impact and the relentless pursuit of change, for good.”


“Who we are.  What we do. The difference we make.”


“Students are the curators of their own life stories. As such, applicants are welcome to submit anything that helps tell their story—being mindful and thoughtful about the quantity and quality of information shared.” — Kellie Kane, Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment and Executive Director of Admissions.


How to Make Your College Application Stand Out With Well-Written Responses


Application Tips


What the essay did well: The writer takes the time to tell a story and build understanding.  The anecdote told helps us appreciate the personal connection this student had.  They take the time to fully show us the context needed to answer the “why” aspect of the prompt. You want to show admissions that you’re an ambitious student who wants to change the world for the better.  Good responses to this prompt showed what steps were taken to enact the change.  They gave admissions better insight into who they are and what makes the tick.  


Supplemental Essay Example:


On one New Year’s Eve, I went to visit family friends with my father and sister. The flashing lights on the television and little sleep triggered a migraine attack. Without my mother present, everyone was unfamiliar with my frightening symptoms. Out of panic, they decided to call an ambulance. That one simple call and visit resulted in a one-year battle with our insurance company. For months on end, my mother argued against the unfair and hurtful statements the insurance listed as reasons for their refusal of payment. These endless calls brought about extreme stress and frustration, but we did not have the means to pay. There was no other option but to keep on fighting.

 

This was my first memorable experience with healthcare and its failures. From that day forward, I associated care with payment. I became worried about affording medical treatment at an early age. And so, if I had the power to change the world, I would make healthcare more affordable. Every individual deserves to be treated without the worry of a costly bill.

 

While I realize that affordable healthcare is a point of debate in our nation, I maintain my stance that it is a human right. I also understand that it will take years to put into place, but this does not discourage me. I can help start the change. With Pitt Honors, I will be exposed to interactive research, a matched mentor, and personalized co-curricular activities. I will be able to become a skilled nurse with critical thinking abilities. With the development of leadership skills, I plan to make a difference. Whether it be taking a high position role at a no-cost clinic or shaping healthcare reforms, I know Pitt Honors College will help me achieve my dream. Whether it be taking a high position role at a no-cost clinic or shaping healthcare reforms, I plan to make a difference.

by Sarah O'Neill, Coatesville, Supreme Editing

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